called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Randomize
