Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Randomize
