420 ftw
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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