Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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