I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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