i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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