"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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