You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
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