I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Randomize
