just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Randomize
