How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
