Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
