we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
