she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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