guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Randomize
