I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
