ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Randomize
