you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
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