I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
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