Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Randomize
