i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
