I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
