we made out on top of his cat.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
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