9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
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