you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
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