So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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