so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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