Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
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