why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Randomize