im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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