Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
This baby is an asshole
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
