I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
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