girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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