Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
