When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
