his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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