yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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