and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
My life is pants optional.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize