Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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