Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Randomize
