marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
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