dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Randomize
