rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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