is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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