If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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