The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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