is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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