Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
