that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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