My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Randomize
