Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
