So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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