Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
