Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize