If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Randomize
