He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Randomize
