I wanna passion pit in your ass
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
