it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Randomize
