whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
