Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
