both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize