Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize
