so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
