I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Randomize
