we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
